And Talk It Up Like Yeah
by writingbythesurf
Summary: Short, teeny Transformers drabble. What if, instead of a battle on Cybertron, Optimus challenged Megatron to a tennis match? Inspired by Lorde's Tennis Court. (Transformers: Prime verse) *I do not own Transformers.*
1. Tennis Court

"You will fall, Prime!"

Megatron shouted, his voice booming as he swung his arm forward in a forceful swing.

"Not by your hand, Megatron!" Optimus yelled back as he brought his arm forward to...

To return the serve.

The small neon ball bounced on the cement before hitting the fence behind Optimus. Megatron pointed at him.

"Ha! I have the advantage now!" Prime picked up the ball and tossed it for a serve.

"I would not let your pride get ahead of you!"

Off the tennis court, Jack, Raphael, and Miko watched the match unfold, the rest of the Autobots behind them as well as Knockout, who had come with Megatron. Knockout pumped a fist in the air. "Yes! Show him, Lord Megatron!" Miko rolled her eyes.

"Sorry, but good always wins at tennis." Ratchet heaved a sigh.

"Whose idea was this, anyway?" Everyone looked at Miko. She lifted her shoulders defensively.

"What?! It's better than fighting him on Cybertron, isn't it?"

Ratchet lifted an eyebrow.

"I suppose. How did you get Megatron to agree to this anyways?" Miko lowered her voice.

"He thinks it's an honorable game between warriors. I might've stretched the truth a liiiiittle bit." Jack laughed.

"Nice one, Miko."

"Yeah, I know. You can thank me later."


	2. Ping-Pong by the Mesa

Jack glanced overhead as him and Arcee in vehicle mode zoomed through Jasper. The recognizable jet-aka Megatron-wasn't far behind. "I don't like it." Arcee complained again. "It's just wrong." Jack shrugged.

"Sorry, Arcee. It's the only way to settle the tie." He could almost sense Arcee rolling her eyes.

"Whatever." They were coming up on the base.

"You know, if you don't like it, you could always just bow out." Knockout said innocently from behind them. "No one would judge you." His tone suggested an afternoon spent in the warship with all the Cons laughing their bumpers off at the Bot's cowardice.

"Quiet, Knockout." Jack said. "Don't let us distract you."

"Yes," Arcee agreed, "We'd hate to be responsible if you crashed and scratched your finish." The only response was a grunt. Jack chuckled as the motorcycle slowed to a stop. A mile or so away from the mesa that hid the Autobot base, the other Autobots, as well as Miko and Raphael, were waiting around the object of the tie-breaker.

A ping-pong table.

Jack fought back a laugh as he walked over to Miko, who was smirking. Arcee transformed with an eyebrow quirked at the sports table.

"Are you kidding me?" Jack whispered to Miko. "It'll be so small..."

"That's the point." She shrugged. Raphael grinned at Jack.

"Laugh now, because we can't in Megatron's presence."

"I can't. I can't I can't I can't..." Jack worked hard at hardening his expression to look serious. Optimus approached the three humans.

"What is so amusing?" Jack smiled a little.

"Oh, nothing. Just Miko's joke." He jumped when Megatron landed in front of them with a metallic clank.

"I am ready to duel, Prime." Megatron boomed.

"As am I." Optimus started towards the table. Megatron did the same. The Decepticon frowned a little in confusion.

"How does this game work? Explain, human." Miko stepped forward and took the paddles, holding one out to either side.

"You each have to pass the ball back and forth using only these paddles." Optimus and Megatron took a paddle. Miko momentarily shivered, trying to hide her giggle. The paddle was the size of one giant Cybertronian finger. She then pointed to the small white ball in the center of the table. "Each time someone passes, you have to hit it back to them. If they don't hit it, it's your point. Understand?" Both Autobot and Decepticon nodded. Prime looked at Megatron.

"What is it we're dueling for, Megatron?"

"For Earth." Optimus didn't appear too shocked.

"Very well. Miko?" She picked up the ping-pong ball and threw it in the air. The game began.

Five minutes later, the score was tied yet again. Everyone besides the competitors was nearly bursting with the effort not to laugh. Raphael had wide eyes and was absolutely still. Miko was twisting her hands behind her back. Jack was simply shaking. He didn't dare break his position. The scene before them was too odd for it not to be funny. The Cybertronians were dueling with a ball the size of their eye, and hitting with an equally tiny paddle. They had to barely hit the ball in order to get it to travel the small space between them and not the distance of a football field. It was like watching two humans hit a seed bead. Everyone watched as Optimus served the ball. His seemingly giant hand wobbled a bit, and the ball curved to the right. Megatron lunged for it and missed by an inch.

Miko jumped in the air.

"OPTIMUS WINS!"

Megatron scowled and threw his paddle on the ground. All the Autobots and humans alike cheered. The Decepticon leader clenched his fists and transformed, shooting into the sky. The second he was gone, the desert area was filled with ringing laughter. Everyone was nearly doubled over except for Optimus, who merely smiled. Jack, who had been on the verge of creating an earthquake, gasped.

"It was so tiny!"

"Best idea ever!" Miko practically shrieked. Raphael took off his glasses and wiped at his eyes.

"What. Was that?!" The sole Decepticon left among them said. Everyone turned to stare at Knockout incredulously. "What?" He said defensively. "You can't honestly expect me not to think that's amusing." Raphael raised an eyebrow.

"Maybe you should be an Autobot, then." To everyone's surprise, Knockout shrugged as he turned away.

"Can't say it's never crossed my mind. Until we meet again, Autobots." The Decepticon transformed and gunned his engine, disappearing into the desert. Miko and Jack stared after him.

"That could be a first." Miko said, looking over at Raphael. He lifted his shoulders.

"Just a thought."

"Better get back to base before Decepticons start asking for autographs." Jack walked towards his vehicle. "Let's roll."


	3. Foul!

"I love this song!" Miko exclaimed, rolling the volume dial so the radio suddenly shook Bulkhead's frame. Her companion, however, was just surprised it wasn't grunge metal. The singer's voice rang out:

_Up and down jump off the deep end wreck this house I should have left with you, with you_

_No way out I met your best friend she went down and I should have made my move with you_

_I shoulda, I woulda, I coulda but I didn't_

_Hit it!_

Knockout, who could hear the song from across the street, snorted.

"I find this thing you humans call music to be mostly pointless." Miko waved a hand in dismissal.

"Whatever!"

5 minutes later, the humans and Cybertronians arrived at yet another destination. Miko hopped out quickly and joined Jack and Raphael, both who were gaping. Before them was two metal poles, each with a yellow sphere hanging from a thin rope, secured with a hook to the very top of the pole.

"Miko, you can't be serious!" Jack exclaimed. "Tetherball?! C-children play this, not-not autonomous-how long are you going to keep this going?"

"Probably just this chapter." Miko winked.

"What?"

"Nothing."

He slapped a hand to his forehead in exasperation. "I-I can't watch this. I'm going behind this wall." He disappeared behind the slab of concrete. Raphael looked at Miko and shrugged.

"This is too priceless. I _have _to see this." Miko shrugged back at him and approached the two duelers.

"Okay, rules: you can't cross the white line." Her words were quick. "You can't hit the ball until your opponent does. You both are trying to get the rope wrapped completely around the pole. But, each of you have to hit the ball the opposite way. Optimus, you go left. Megatron, right. Optimus, you serve. GO!"

After a small break of confusion, the game was underway. The two Cybertronians were quickly and furiously hitting the ball back and forth. Once, Megatron stepped a bit over the line. "Foul!" Miko yelled. But that wasn't the only time.

"Foul!"

"FOUL!"

"Foooooouuuulll!"

"FOUL!"

At last, Megatron roared and ripped the ball from the pole.

"This game is MADNESS! I don't care about Earth anymore, you idiots can have it! Arrgh!" The Decepticon tossed the ball behind him, where it smacked Knockout in the face. His sound of surprise was muffled. Megatron again flew away, leaving everyone in a sort of awkward silence. Jack came out from behind the wall, clapping sarcastically. Raphael shook his head.

"He really doesn't have patience, does he?" Knockout dropped the now flat ball on the ground.

"Well, it appears you have won. Couldn't hurt to join the winning team, could it?" Ratchet made a skeptical face.

"You don't mean to say-"

"Yes, medic. I want to be an Autobot. Let's not stumble over this for too long."

"Optimus?" Bulkhead looked at their leader. Prime looked over Knockout.

"I can't see why not." Miko threw her hands up. "Anyone else want to join our noble cause?"

"Perhaps I will." said Starstream.

"What?!" she shrieked. "Where did you come from?!"

Arcee rolled her eyes. "I think we should just leave now."

"Agreed." Optimus transformed. "Autobots...roll out."

The End.

**A/N:**

**Thanks for reading, and please let me know what you think!**

**Song referenced:**

**Hit It by American Authors**

**Me:**

**(breaks fourth wall)**

**(makes musical reference to story events)**

**"Now, make sure you don't make your stories too cheesy."**


End file.
